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How to Make People Fall in Love With Your Blog

 How to get people to fall in love with your blog

At its core, blogging is about wanting to be loved.

Before you roll your eyes, hear me out.

When you blog, you put yourself and your ideas out there for the world, and that means you want to be seen and heard. You want people to read your stuff and think, Wow, this chick is amazing. You want people to fall in love with you. (Feel free to argue with me in the comments if you disagree.)

I’ve never been the type to go after the guy all the girls wanted. In middle school, I picked the most nerdy, quiet guys to obsess about, because there was absolutely no competition.

But when you blog, you’re basically competing with the entire internet to get people to love you. And it feels really hard.

Just like you don’t have to get every man (or woman) to love you, you don’t have to get everyone on the internet to love you either. Just your people. The people who were meant to find you.

And here’s how to make them fall helplessly, hopelessly in love with you and your blog.

1. Really listen to them.

Have you ever been on a date when the guy actually listens to what you have to say, instead of going on and on about himself? It almost makes you fall in love on the spot. (At least I did. That’s one of my favorite things about my husband.)

You want to be the person that really hears what your audience is saying. And you become that person by finding them and listening to them. There are SO many ways to do this. Here are a few:

1. Facebook groups

Join them, actively participate, and PAY ATTENTION to what people struggle with. You can even be audacious and ASK them.

When I was just starting this blog, I went into a couple of my favorite groups and asked them what they struggled with in their blogs. So many people responded “being consistent.” And guess what? My posts on blogging consistently have been the most popular. (Shocking, right?)

2. Surveys

Every once in awhile, I ask my readers to fill out a survey in which I ask them what they are struggling with in building their blogs. The insights I get from reading their responses are unbelievably helpful.

If you don’t have readers (or a mailing list), you can go back to those trusty Facebook groups and ask people to do your survey as well.

3. Interviews

Actually talking to people is the most powerful way of getting to know them. (Shocking, right?) You can ask your survey respondents if they’re willing to talk to you over the phone, and you can straight out ask people you know in person or online if they could chat with you as well. I use a tool called Calendly to schedule the conversations.

After you’ve listened to your audience, show them you’ve listened by writing posts that directly answer their questions and speak to their concerns. When they see that you’ve not only listened, but acted on what you’ve heard, they will start to trust you. And trust is a foundation for love.

2. Define and refine your unique voice.

Even if you’re writing about topics that people are super interested in, they won’t fall in love with your blog if it sounds like everyone else’s. You need to craft your unique voice, your unique way of expressing yourself.

And it’s not hard. First, answer these 3 questions:

  1. Which adjectives do I want people to use when they talk about my blog?
  2. What type of place do I want people to feel like when they’re reading my blog?
  3. What words do I frequently use that can convey those adjectives/place?

Here’s an awesome “voice board” from one of the students of my Define Your Blog Voice course.

Lisa's blog voice inspiration board

You can check out her blog here.

Then get to writing. Use your answers to these questions to guide you. And don’t afraid to be bold and different. No one falls in love with a copycat.

3. Be vulnerable.

That’s right. Show your true self. When I was in college, I dated this guy for one and a half years. I thought I loved him, yet I was COMPLETELY MISERABLE the entire time.

Why? Because he couldn’t allow himself to be vulnerable. He would never open up and show me that he needed me. It really sucked.

So…to be truly lovable, you have to show people that you’re human, and that you care, and that you need them just like they need you. That means being vulnerable. That means sharing your struggles and opening up about things that might be hard to write about.

Be vulnerable by sharing personal stories. Be vulnerable by acknowledging when you need help. Be vulnerable by showing your human side, even if you’re writing about marketing tactics.

Vulnerability makes you lovable. Truly.

4. Keep showing up.

The people I love the most are the people who I can count on NO MATTER WHAT.

The same goes for your blog. If you blog consistently, you show people that they can rely on you to be there.

You show them that you’re in this for the long haul. And you give them more and more opportunities to fall in love with you.

For more on blogging consistently, read this.

How to get people to fall in love with your blog

It may not be as scary as standing on the sidelines at a middle school dance, waiting for someone to ask you to slow dance with them, but blogging is about wanting people to want you. And to fall in love with you. Here are 4 ways to make it happen:

      1. Listen to your audience.
      2. Define and refine your voice.
      3. Be vulnerable.
      4. Keep showing up.

How to REALLY become a consistent blogger

How to REALLY become a consistent blogger

Lately, it seems like everyone and their mother is using an editorial calendar.

Not blogging consistently?

No problem. Just create an editorial calendar and you’ll be putting out content like the best of them.

Can’t come up with ideas you want to write about?

No problem. Do some brainstorming ahead of time, write your ideas in an editorial calendar, and you’ll be good to go.

I have no doubt that an editorial calendar works for some people.

But thinking that just writing post ideas in a calendar is going to make you a consistent blogger is like thinking that writing down “Go to the gym” on your calendar will make you a buff gym goer.

It just doesn’t work like that.

I’ve tried an editorial calendar myself. I schedule posts into my WordPress calendar and then I end up having a bunch of unpublished drafts that I thought I wanted to write about.

Yet I’ve been able to create a consistent blogging schedule and stick to it.

Here’s how you can become a consistent blogger, too.

1. Have a clear big picture goal for your blog.

Before writing this blog, I’ve had 6 other ones.

And all of them fizzled out after awhile. That’s because I didn’t have a clear idea of why I was blogging.

I would start out with a lot of joy and excitement in writing, and then after a few weeks, I would lose interest. My daily posts would start to become weekly posts, and then I would stop blogging altogether.

I am all for starting a blog just because it feels right.

But at some point in the process, you have to sit down and decide what your big picture goal is for the blog.

Is it to create a business and make money?

Is it to sell your existing products or services?

Is it to share your story?

Whatever you choose, it has to really, really MATTER to you. If it doesn’t, you won’t be able to keep the momentum going.

2. Have clear short term goals for your blog.

So let’s say you chose “To sell my existing products or services” as your big picture goal.

That’s great, but you also need smaller, short term goals to inform your writing.

Having a short term goal will help you create an editorial calendar for your month that you’ll actually stick to because you’ll have a clear and specific outcome tied to it.

For example, if you sell jewelry, your short term goal might be to get your new line of earrings sold.

At the beginning of the month, you can sit down and think of 4-12 post ideas that are tied directly to your new earrings.

You could write a post about how to pick the perfect earrings to go with your outfit, another about how wearing earrings improves your appearance, etc.

You will be motivated to blog consistently because you will be acutely aware of the outcome of blogging versus not blogging. (i.e. people buying your products versus not buying them)

Then your editorial calendar will become a tool to organize your ideas, rather than a motivational tool.

3. Tie your editorial calendar to a promotional calendar.

It’s really hard to keep writing when you don’t know if anyone is going to read your posts.

That’s why it’s essential to have a promotional calendar in place.

For each blog post, I post it on Twitter 6 times over the course of 2 months. I use CoSchedule* (affiliate link) to do it.

I have a strategy for getting more followers on Twitter so I’m not just tweeting to 10 people.

I also share in a number of Facebook groups who have dedicated days for promoting blog posts.

Pinterest is also a huge one for me. For each post, I systematically share on Pinterest in a number of ways.

Having a promotional plan keeps me blogging because I know that when I write a post, I can put it in front of my audience.

So create a plan, and promote the heck out of every post you write. When your social shares, comments, and page views go up, it will keep you motivated to blog consistently.

4. Know when you will blog each week, and see it as a vital, non-negotiable part of building your business.

Choose a dedicated time to blog, and schedule it in, just like a client appointment.

Writing a post into your editorial calendar for next Wednesday will not ensure that you will actually write the post.

Creating a block of time next Wednesday when you will do nothing but blog, and being adamant about it, will mean that you’ll actually write.

You don’t need to write every day. You really, really don’t.

I started out writing every day. Then I scaled back to 5 times a week, and now 3 times a week.

Even though I don’t write as much, my posts are way better than they were before. Because I can put more thought and time into each one.

My point is, figure out what works FOR YOU. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to do too much. If you create an unreasonable schedule for yourself, you’ll do it for a week, and when you realize it’s not sustainable, you’ll feel like a failure and give up writing altogether.

If you work better writing an hour everyday, do that. If you want to write only on Friday mornings, do that.

And if your schedule changes over time, let it. Just be sure you keep some time to write every week on your calendar.

5. Build relationships with other bloggers.

Blogging can be a lonely thing. Sitting at home in front of your computer by yourself producing content is hard.

And not only that. People who don’t blog just don’t get it. They say things like, Can you really make money from your blog? and I know you blog, but what do you do as your job? and How does your blog really benefit the world? (That one was courtesy of my sister. She’s a social worker.)

All of this can be very demotivating.

That’s why you need to get out there and meet other bloggers.

I’ve built really great relationships with other bloggers in Facebook groups.

I met my accountability partner in a Facebook group, and we talk on the phone every single week. He keeps me going and gives me great ideas. Just this morning, he helped me brainstorm my first paid product.

You can also find them through podcasts, on Twitter, at conferences, and by commenting regularly on their blogs.

To stay motivated to blog consistently, you need to put relationship building as high on the list as actually writing blog posts. It’s that important.

How to REALLY become a consistent blogger - Facebook

If your editorial calendar isn’t working, it’s not you.

It’s not because you’re flaky, or can’t keep to a schedule.

It’s because staying motivated to blog consistently is hard, and it requires more than a list of post ideas.

Instead of only focusing on your editorial calendar, figure out:

  • Your long term goal for your blog.
  • Your short term goals for your posts.
  • How to promote the heck out of every post and get it read.
  • When you will blog every week. And stick to it.
  • How to build relationships with other bloggers.

If this list seems daunting, it is.

This isn’t an easy, quick fix.

But it is a framework for how to become a consistent blogger. If you are willing to do the work.

Do you struggle with blogging consistently? Time for a plan.

Do you struggle with blogging consistently? Time for a plan.

It’s easy to write a single blog post, but not so easy to continue writing on a regular basis.

It’s much easier, however, when you create a blogging plan before you start.

If you already have a blog but are struggling to stay consistent, you can do this process at anytime, so read on for ideas.

1. Determine your purpose for blogging.

Blogging can be a lonely activity, and it takes time before you start getting the traffic and feedback you crave, so you need to have a purpose to keep you going in the meantime.

You may have already seen this talk by Simon Sinek, but I suggest you watch it now to get your mind focused on the WHY of your blog:

Here are a few reasons people start blogs. Do you resonate with any of them?

  • To make money/drive more people to know about my business (Note: If you don’t have an additional business you’re blogging for, just blogging to make money is fine, but you should know that it will take quite awhile. So you need an additional purpose to keep you going.)
  • To share my story with the world.
  • To help other people in my niche.
  • To explore a new topic and bring other people along on my journey.
  • To have an outlet for my emotions and experiences.
  • To be heard.

Take action: Set a timer for 5 minutes. Write “I want to blog because…” and finish the sentence. Then write it again. Then again. Until the timer dings, keep finishing the sentence over and over. The main rule for this to work is don’t let yourself stop writing. Don’t pause and think. Just keep going. That will help you find your “why.”

A fear that comes up in this part of the process:

You may worry,

My purpose isn’t important enough.

Yes it is. I give you permission to write for whatever purpose you choose. Now on to the next phase.

2. Figure out the overall topic you want to write about and/or the audience you want to write for.

This is kind of a big one, and there are lots and lots of ways to go about it. Here are a few:

  • You can write on a specific topic, for a specific group of people – like organic cooking for moms, or how to use your DSLR camera for beginners.
  • You can use your blog as a diary of sorts, chronicling your life adventures. Even if you do this, you should have some type of audience in mind. Are you writing about your experiences as an entrepreneur? As a mom? As a traveler?
  • You can just write about a variety of topics you’re interested in. Instead of focusing on one topic, you can decide to just write about different things you care about. Once you’ve been blogging for awhile, you will naturally see what you enjoy writing about the most.

If you’re already blogging but struggling with it, take this opportunity to reassess your topic. Is it the reason you’re struggling? If so, you may want to narrow or broaden it.

Some links to help you out:

If you want a list of ideas to get you thinking, check out Fizzle’s 81 Topic Ideas for Starting a Blog that Matters.  It’s a comprehensive list, ranging from “home brewing” to “learning the ukelele” (my mom would like the ukelele one).

Amy Lynn Andrews has a very helpful post describing what readers are looking for in a blog. The post then moves on to listing specific questions to ask yourself when choosing a topic, such as “Are readers in this niche willing to spend money?” and, “What kind of site do you wish you could find?”

Fears that come up in this part of the process:

As you’re doing this, you may start to doubt yourself. Here are some of the common fears:

What if no one cares what I have to say?

What if the topic I chose is too specific, and there aren’t enough people who will want to read about it?

What if the topic I chose is too broad?

So many other people are already writing about this. Maybe there’s no point in my doing so as well.

What if I get tired of writing about this?

Remember, these fears are mainly there because of the lizard brain that doesn’t want you to take risks. If you have any of these thoughts, take a deep breath, and realize that they really don’t matter. If you write with honesty and clarity, people will care what you have to say. And if your topic is too narrow or too broad, you’ll figure that out as you go.

Creating a successful blog is a journey, and no matter what you do, it won’t be perfect. So just let go of thinking it will be, and write anyway.

 3. Create a blogging schedule.

How often will you blog? It’s really up to you.

I would say you should blog at least once a week. Beyond that, it depends how much posting you can handle.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • How quickly do I want my blog to grow? (The more posts you write, the faster your blog will grow. Although it’s important that they all be high quality posts.)
  • How much time per week do I want to devote to blogging? (Keep in mind, too, that blogging isn’t just writing a post. You may want to create an image to go with each post, and you’ll want to spend time promoting and sharing it as well.)
  • How many posts will people want to read each week? (Here’s what Problogger and The Book Designer have to say about this question.)

Here’s something to keep in mind:

You can write everyday without posting everyday.

I read Chris Guillebeau’s 279 Days to Overnight Success (which you should read, by the way), and he said that he committed to writing everyday, but he only published a blog post 3 times a week.

I think this is really smart. Writing everyday means that you’re practicing blogging and getting better at it. And posting less times per week than you write will mean that you’ll have more than enough material to publish, but you won’t feel like you have to publish everything.

The other day I wrote a crappy blog post. Even as I hit publish, I knew it wasn’t my best work. But because I had committed to publishing everyday, I felt like I had to publish it. Then I rethought my schedule and realized that I’d rather publish fewer posts but make them all freaking awesome than publish one everyday and have some of them be crappy. So now I’m publishing 4 posts per week, but still writing everyday.

4. Write a bunch of ideas for posts. (20-30 is ideal)

It’s so important to be consistent in blogging, but it’s also really challenging. One of the best ways to prevent lapses is by having a lot of ideas to choose from. That way you won’t be sitting down day after day and thinking, Shit, what do I write about?

How do you find ideas for individual posts?

There are tons and tons of ways, but here are a few of my favorites:

  • Create a mind map using your initial topic choices and just brainstorm as many ideas as possible.
  • Go in Facebook groups and ask people what they struggle with that’s related to your topic.
  • Skim over the forums in Quora to check out what people are talking about and interested in reading about.
  • Read other blog articles in your niche, see which ones are popular, and then see if you can add your own spin to them.
  • Poke around on Pinterest and see if anything sparks your interest.
  • Read quotes on Goodreads for inspiration.
  • Try out this idea generator.

For each post I write, I ask myself these 3 questions:

  • Will this resonate with my audience?
  • Do I have something new to contribute to this topic?
  • Can I experiment and do something different with this?

Some links to help you out:

101 Fabulous Blog Topic Ideas by Molly Greene. I like this list because it’s not just specific ideas. Instead, she lists types of posts, and within each, ideas. For example a type she mentions is “Personal Essays” and within that topic, one of the ideas is “childhood memories.”

The Ultimate List of Blog Post Ideas by Digital Marketer is also extremely helpful in thinking of post ideas. It breaks the posts down by the tone and quality of the post, such as “be generous” and “be controversial,” and then provides ideas for each. It also includes a great infographic you can download and save for future reference.

Fears that come up in this part of the process:

In the idea generation process, you might be thinking,

This idea sucks. No one will want to read this.

What if I can’t come up with anything good for this topic?

Other people have done this better than I ever can.

To these fears, I say, you are just brainstorming. Don’t worry about individual ideas right now. If the idea sucks, or you can’t come up with anything good, you can discard it later. And if other people have done it better, why not write a link roundup sharing their knowledge?

To sum up…

In your blogging plan, you’ve:

  • Figured out your purpose for blogging
  • Decided on a topic for your blog
  • Figured out a blogging schedule that works for you
  • Brainstormed a 20-30 ideas to write about