How to Make People Fall in Love With Your Blog

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 How to get people to fall in love with your blog

At its core, blogging is about wanting to be loved.

Before you roll your eyes, hear me out.

When you blog, you put yourself and your ideas out there for the world, and that means you want to be seen and heard. You want people to read your stuff and think, Wow, this chick is amazing. You want people to fall in love with you. (Feel free to argue with me in the comments if you disagree.)

I’ve never been the type to go after the guy all the girls wanted. In middle school, I picked the most nerdy, quiet guys to obsess about, because there was absolutely no competition.

But when you blog, you’re basically competing with the entire internet to get people to love you. And it feels really hard.

Just like you don’t have to get every man (or woman) to love you, you don’t have to get everyone on the internet to love you either. Just your people. The people who were meant to find you.

And here’s how to make them fall helplessly, hopelessly in love with you and your blog.

1. Really listen to them.

Have you ever been on a date when the guy actually listens to what you have to say, instead of going on and on about himself? It almost makes you fall in love on the spot. (At least I did. That’s one of my favorite things about my husband.)

You want to be the person that really hears what your audience is saying. And you become that person by finding them and listening to them. There are SO many ways to do this. Here are a few:

1. Facebook groups

Join them, actively participate, and PAY ATTENTION to what people struggle with. You can even be audacious and ASK them.

When I was just starting this blog, I went into a couple of my favorite groups and asked them what they struggled with in their blogs. So many people responded “being consistent.” And guess what? My posts on blogging consistently have been the most popular. (Shocking, right?)

2. Surveys

Every once in awhile, I ask my readers to fill out a survey in which I ask them what they are struggling with in building their blogs. The insights I get from reading their responses are unbelievably helpful.

If you don’t have readers (or a mailing list), you can go back to those trusty Facebook groups and ask people to do your survey as well.

3. Interviews

Actually talking to people is the most powerful way of getting to know them. (Shocking, right?) You can ask your survey respondents if they’re willing to talk to you over the phone, and you can straight out ask people you know in person or online if they could chat with you as well. I use a tool called Calendly to schedule the conversations.

After you’ve listened to your audience, show them you’ve listened by writing posts that directly answer their questions and speak to their concerns. When they see that you’ve not only listened, but acted on what you’ve heard, they will start to trust you. And trust is a foundation for love.

2. Define and refine your unique voice.

Even if you’re writing about topics that people are super interested in, they won’t fall in love with your blog if it sounds like everyone else’s. You need to craft your unique voice, your unique way of expressing yourself.

And it’s not hard. First, answer these 3 questions:

  1. Which adjectives do I want people to use when they talk about my blog?
  2. What type of place do I want people to feel like when they’re reading my blog?
  3. What words do I frequently use that can convey those adjectives/place?

Here’s an awesome “voice board” from one of the students of my Define Your Blog Voice course.

Lisa's blog voice inspiration board

You can check out her blog here.

Then get to writing. Use your answers to these questions to guide you. And don’t afraid to be bold and different. No one falls in love with a copycat.

3. Be vulnerable.

That’s right. Show your true self. When I was in college, I dated this guy for one and a half years. I thought I loved him, yet I was COMPLETELY MISERABLE the entire time.

Why? Because he couldn’t allow himself to be vulnerable. He would never open up and show me that he needed me. It really sucked.

So…to be truly lovable, you have to show people that you’re human, and that you care, and that you need them just like they need you. That means being vulnerable. That means sharing your struggles and opening up about things that might be hard to write about.

Be vulnerable by sharing personal stories. Be vulnerable by acknowledging when you need help. Be vulnerable by showing your human side, even if you’re writing about marketing tactics.

Vulnerability makes you lovable. Truly.

4. Keep showing up.

The people I love the most are the people who I can count on NO MATTER WHAT.

The same goes for your blog. If you blog consistently, you show people that they can rely on you to be there.

You show them that you’re in this for the long haul. And you give them more and more opportunities to fall in love with you.

For more on blogging consistently, read this.

How to get people to fall in love with your blog

It may not be as scary as standing on the sidelines at a middle school dance, waiting for someone to ask you to slow dance with them, but blogging is about wanting people to want you. And to fall in love with you. Here are 4 ways to make it happen:

      1. Listen to your audience.
      2. Define and refine your voice.
      3. Be vulnerable.
      4. Keep showing up.
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  • Peggy Nolan

    I absolutely LOVE the voice board! Thank you for sharing the great work you’re doing!

    • Daniela Uslan

      Thanks Peggy! I love your work as well!

  • Beth

    Food for thought as always, Daniela. I really like the questions under #2 – you got me thinking.

    • Daniela Uslan

      Thanks, Beth! I love your writing voice. What are your answers to the questions under #2?

  • Emily

    So fun! There are so many ways to create a blog and these point are all fantastic. I’d just love to add that no one will have a chance to fall in love with a blog until the blogger takes that first leap of not worrying about it being perfect. There will be kicked-out-of-the-park posts and there will inevitably be some not-so-on-the-money ones, even when you’re doing everything “right.” p.s. I, too, love every type of mapping exercise 🙂

    • Daniela Uslan

      Emily, you are so right that you have to WRITE for people to fall in love with your blog. And one of the things that makes people loveable (in my humble opinion) is when they take risks and get their voice out there.

  • These are great and I love the blogging voice vision board idea. I make a vision board at the beginning of each new year and one word that is on my vision board for 2015 is BLOG as in “blog more consistently” just like you mentioned. I have been doing better at that this year than previous years, but have not met my once per week on Thursdays goal all the time. That is a great idea to ask questions in Facebook groups and surveys! Awesome.

    • Daniela Uslan

      Thanks, Katie! What has helped you blog more consistently? I would love to see your vision board!

  • Skinnyandsingle

    Love these, so helpful.. I found you on pinterest by the way, the other most helpful thing on the planet 🙂

  • So helpful, thank you so much 🙂

  • Thanks for sharing..!

    It was really awesome..!

    Sure, I agree what you said..If you want your readers fall in love with your blog unless you first listen to them. You know..? If you’re trying to speak, you will repeat what you said. But if you’re trying to listen, you’ll learn something new. So, you have to learn from your readers is you want them to close to you.

    Then responding to them with right attention. I believe that your readers will complete love to listen back what you’re say..

    A lovely tips…

  • Leslie

    Great advice. I’m really trying to work on consistency. I was doing well on this for a while, but the last couple of months have been harder. Even though I’m home more because I’m off for the summer, my daughter is getting older and not napping as often. By the time I get her down for the night, I’m often too tired and have too much to do. I just need to schedule me some blogging time.

  • Busy Boys Brigade

    I love the vision board idea! I want to make one to gather my thoughts & focus-and have to look at for inspiration! So many awesome tips here!!

  • Doreen Tapper

    As usual, I feel like you’re reading my mind! Great post.

    • Daniela Uslan

      Thanks, Doreen! I’m glad you liked it!

  • Monica Bruno

    This is an excellent post, Daniela. I’m still working on refining my voice and I’ve been blogging for two years. I wish I had this advise when I started. I need to write these tips out and tape them onto my computer screen. Thanks for sharing.

    • Daniela Uslan

      Thanks, Monica! I love your writer’s voice. I read your post about the mountains yesterday, and it’s still with me. Sad and beautiful at the same time.

  • This is a great post, and it’s particularly true about listening to your audience. Now that people are chatting back and forth with me it’s less like I’m blogging into the terrifying void of cyberspace and more like I’m just sharing what’s on my mind with friends. It makes it a LOT easier to be consistent when you know people are actually looking forward to reading. Thank you for writing this <3

  • Hil D

    I am trying to build my blog and hope people love it! I am trying to make an active facebook page and engage readers and get ideas from them too. Blogging is hard and it’s true you put yourself out there and hope people love you back!

    • Daniela Uslan

      Hi Hil! Thanks for your comment. It is so true that blogging is hard, so good for you for putting yourself out there!

  • Oh, I think I’ve found my home! Do you have any idea how refreshing it is to read the first statement you wrote and my first thought is “…but I’m not rolling my eyes!”? Love this, and all the treasures you provided here! Thank you Daniela!

    • Daniela Uslan

      Aww, thanks, Dona! I’m glad you enjoyed the post and felt at home! Welcome!

  • Daniela Uslan

    Hi Mary! I am glad I made you think about vulnerability…let me know what you come up with!

  • Daniela Uslan

    Hi Wes, yep. Be consistent. It’s easier said than done. But it’s much easier to do when you know your purpose and have goals in place. Do you?

  • Daniela Uslan

    Megan, awesome! When are you setting up your first interview?

  • Daniela Uslan

    Hi Anjuli. I’m glad you got some ideas from this post. And I’m thrilled that you’re in Have Your Cupcake and will be learning more together in the future! I love your blog and can’t wait to see it grow!

  • Totally agree with you on speaking in your own voice! That’s one thing my readers liked about me when I began blogging years ago!

    People will fall in love with you, too, for being open and honest. At least, that has been my experience!

    Yes, this is my first time here too… but I believe I will be back. 😉