Today in my Mastermind group, I was explaining that I want to reach out to other bloggers and collaborate with them, but I was feeling weird about it. (For some reason, I sometimes feel like I’m in middle school again, where I was most definitely not one of the popular kids.)
My friend Kerstin told me about this project called 100 Rejection Letters, where she gives herself a gold star every time she gets rejected. She suggested that I look into it.
While I think the whole 100 Rejection Letters idea is BRILLIANT, I realized that I don’t actually need a gold star every time I’m rejected.
Being a blogger and solopreneur for the past 4 years has given me loads of practice with rejection.
Last week, I started an email sequence to let my readers know that I’m closing my membership site, Have Your Cupcake, to new members. (It closes tonight.)
The first time I launched Have Your Cupcake, back in August of 2015, I felt intense anxiety. What if people didn’t sign up? What if the whole thing was a flop? The entire time I was launching it, I felt like my self-worth was on the line.
But this time, I feel proud.
I feel proud of putting something out there – something that I’ve put my heart and soul into – and asking people to pay me for it. Even if no one signed up during the launch (which many people have), I would feel really good about it anyway.
Because by doing a “real launch” and selling Have Your Cupcake, I am telling myself that I am worth it. That I care more about going after what I want than I do about what other people think of me.
Being a blogger has helped me be okay with rejection. More than that, it’s helped me embrace it.
Because in order to succeed online, you have to be willing to be rejected by 99.9% of people.
You have to be willing to put yourself out there and write blog posts that may never be read by anyone other than your mom.
You have to hope that readers will agree to part with their email addresses in exchange for something that you’ve spent hours creating. (While knowing that most people who visit your blog won’t sign up.)
And once you have an email list, you have to have the guts to email a bunch of people who don’t know you. And you have to be okay with it when only 30% of them open your email and even less actually click through to read your posts.
But here’s the thing. Getting rejected by billions of people everyday is actually helpful. Because just as loads of people are opting out of your offerings, your people are finding you and loving what they see.
And here’s the other thing. You have to face rejection if you want to build something that matters to you.
Because the more you put yourself out there for the sake of YOU and what you really care about, rejection be damned, the stronger you become. And the more worthy you feel.The more you face rejection head on and keep going, the more worthy you feel. #bloggingClick To Tweet
Here are 6 things that scared the shit out of me when I first started blogging that I now do without worrying:
1. Writing a blog post and sharing it on social media.
I used to be afraid that I would be annoying people. Now I love sharing my stuff because I know that it helps people.
2. Emailing my subscribers.
I used to be afraid that people would unsubscribe. Now I embrace unsubscribes because they only leave truly interested people on my email list, AND they also lower my Convertkit costs.
3. Selling things.
It took me months to work up the courage to sell something, and when I did, I felt guilty about it. Now I love selling things, because it gives people a chance to get my best stuff, and it gives me a chance to experiment with different ways to sell.
4. Doing video.
I used to avoid video like the plague. I didn’t want to be seen as the makeup-less, yoga pants wearing woman I am. Now I love video because it helps people see me in all of my imperfect glory.
5. Acting like I know what I’m talking about.
I used to think, Who am I to pretend I know what I talk about? Why would anyone think I’m an expert? Now I know that I am really, really good at helping people find their voice and putting the pieces of the online marketing puzzle together. As long as I stick with that, I feel good.
6. Being a blogger in general.
I used to feel weird about telling people I’m a blogger or a blogging coach. A lot of people think blogging isn’t a legit way to make money or live your life. Now I feel proud to be a blogger. I get to wear the aforementioned yoga pants every single day and still make an income.
Do I still fear rejection? Hell, yeah. I’m human.
(Remember the beginning of this post, when I was worried about reaching out to other bloggers? Yeah, that.)
But I’ve had so much practice with rejection as a blogger that I’m actually excited to push through and get out of my comfort zone again.
So…what does all of this mean for you?
It means that every rejection brings you closer to the people you were meant to serve.
It means that you need to know your deeper purpose for blogging, so that when things get scary, you can come back to that purpose and remember why you started blogging in the first place.
It means that if you’re a blogger, you are courageous.
Because you’re willing to share yourself with the world despite how much it frightens you, and how much rejection you face.
So keep going. I’m rooting for you.