The Delicious Freedom of Not Knowing

I burned my business to the ground last month.

I’m freelance writing these days.

I love it. Not because it’s my life purpose. Not because it’s what I’ve always been searching for.

I love it because it’s fun, I’m good at it, and I’m making money. I’m learning. I’m growing.

It doesn’t have to be more than that. It’s what I’m doing now.

I wrote an article about pregnancy announcements.

I got paid to watch videos of a couple singing a Britney Spears pregnancy medley, a husband crying in a photo booth, and Prego sauce dripping down a bathroom mirror like blood. Life changing? No. Entertaining? Yes.

I’m tired of taking myself so seriously.

I talked to an energetic healer/life coach last week. She told me the purpose of life is to be happy. What a relief.

Here’s what I’m telling myself these days that you might find helpful, too:

  • You don’t have to know the answers. Now, or ever. In fact, thinking you own the TRUTH gets you into a lot of trouble.
  • Your first task is to let go and trust. After that, everything else unfolds with greater ease.
  • It’s okay to change what you’re doing. It’s okay to admit you’re wrong. It’s okay to give up and choose another path.
  • Money is just money. It isn’t any more valuable if it comes from your life’s purpose. $5 from dog walking can buy the same latte as $5 from your life’s purpose (whatever that means).
  • Who said your life’s purpose is one thing, anyway? Can’t we have a bunch of purposes?
  • Your blog is just something you’ve made. It isn’t you. It doesn’t contain your worthiness.
  • Your business is just something you’re trying out. It isn’t you. You can burn it to the ground and survive.
  • Stop worrying about what other people think and do your thing.
  • Make joy a priority.
  • Stop trying to be the expert. You know what you know. Just share it.
  • You don’t need to prove yourself. You own your knowledge. You own your abilities. You own your love. You own your creativity. That’s true no matter what. Even if you don’t get this client. Even if you don’t get social shares. Even if you never blog again.
  •  You’re allowed to be happy right now. It doesn’t matter if you’re in debt or don’t know where you’ll be living in a year. Be happy anyway.
Your first task is to let go and trust. After that, everything else unfolds with greater ease.Click To Tweet

There’s so much pressure to know.

To know what we’re doing. To know our path. To know our purpose. To know our niche.

To know what we’re here on this beautiful Earth to do.

But lately, I’ve found that I’d rather not know.

I’d rather remain open and curious. I’d rather do what feels intuitively good.

I’d rather write a blog post about pregnancy announcements and then walk my dog by the water and feel the salty humid air on my skin.

I’d rather be open. I’d rather say, Universe, bring on the joy. Show me. 

I’d rather do that than have the answers.

So. Here I am, savoring the wild delicious freedom of not knowing.

Universe, I am ready. Bring it on.